Top Practical Tips For Overcoming Postpartum Identity Loss

December 5, 2023 BY

If motherhood has been an endless rollercoaster of feeding schedules, diaper changes and sleepless nights, we feel your pain.

Becoming a mother is truly one of life’s most beautiful and transformative experiences. However along with the joy of motherhood also comes a myriad of challenges, one of the most common being postpartum identity loss. A once dynamic and independent life is now solely focused on keeping your little one safe and happy, which can often result in the loss of your sense of self.

Fortunately, the journey of motherhood needn’t be one that requires you to neglect your personal needs. Rather, it’s all about striking the perfect balance between the many demands of parenting and preserving your identity. 

To get the ball rolling, here are 7 practical tips for overcoming postpartum identity loss. 

  • Treat Yourself To Beauty Therapies 

If motherhood has been an endless rollercoaster of feeding schedules, diaper changes and sleepless nights, we feel your pain. With so many that need to be ticked off your daily list, chances are you’ve had little to no time to indulge in personal care. However, it’s vital to remember that looking after your needs plays a huge role in your ability to care for your little one, which is why we recommend treating yourself to a range of beauty therapies for some much needed TLC.

Whether it’s HIFU treatment for body sculpting, eyelash extensions, manicures, or simply a relaxing day at the spa, these moments of pampering don’t just rejuvenate, but also contribute to a positive self-image. Remember, you deserve to feel good about yourself, so don’t underestimate the power of self-care.

  • Carve Out Some Alone Time 

Not sure when or how you’ll even be able to sneak in some alone time? You can do this while the little one is napping, or by asking your significant other to take a shift in caregiving responsibilities. Remember that clearly communicating your need for some personal time is crucial in maintaining a healthy balance between your role as a new mum and your individual identity.

Finding some time just for yourself, and yourself alone, can often feel like an impossible feat as a new mother. However, everyone needs a little time out (especially when you’re a busy mum), and carving out some alone time is a great way to reclaim a sense of much needed balance in your life. Whether it’s taking some time to go for a daily walk, heading to the cinema for a solo-movie session, or simply enjoying some peace and quiet whilst reading a book, alone time can make all the difference in replenishing your energy and reconnecting with your own thoughts and emotions.

  • Make Time For Friends 

When was the last time you had a fun night out with the girls, or a lazy afternoon coffee with your best friend? It’s no secret that motherhood can be tough, especially on your social life. With barely enough time to sit alone with your thoughts, it’s not surprising that so many mums often neglect the importance of maintaining a connection with friends. Yet, amidst the never-ending diaper changes and chaotic piles of laundry, making time for friends is a crucial aspect of your identity outside of motherhood. So, whether it’s catching up for a coffee, scheduling a phone call with your bestie, or planning a fun night out, prioritising your friendships can play a major role in overcoming postpartum identity loss. 

  • Reignite Your Passions and Hobbies 

What were some of your favourite pastimes hobbies before you became a mum? Did you enjoy baking gorgeous party cakes or crocheting cute stuffed animals? Perhaps you were a huge weekend sip and paint fan, because who isn’t! Regardless of what your pre-motherhood hobbies were, now is the perfect time to reignite your passions.

You see, as a new mum, finding time to nurture your hobbies and interests can be a challenge. However, neglecting to do so can also contribute to the loss of your sense of self, which is why prioritising your pre-motherhood hobbies is key to reclaiming your identity. Not to mention, hobbies are also a great outlet for stress, providing you with a temporary escape from the demands of parenting. Remember, it’s never selfish to invest in your happiness and wellbeing.

Learn how to find time for hobbies as a new mum here

  • Priorities Date Nights 

Maintaining a strong connection with your significant other is crucial when you’re navigating postpartum identity loss, which is why we always recommend that couples prioritise regular date nights. It can be as simple as asking a family member to look after your little one while you catch a movie at the cinema with your spouse, or reserving a quiet evening for a delicious homemade dinner and meaningful conversation. Regardless of the activity, the essence lies in intentionally carving out time for just the two of you. In other words, keep the romance alive!

If you’re under the impression that the days of romance and spontaneity with your significant other are a thing of the past now that you are new parents, think again. Unfortunately, too many people fall into the trap of simply cohabiting with their spouse once the baby arrives, and this can (unsurprisingly) really do a number on both your relationship and personal identity. 

  • Don’t Compare Yourself To Other Mums 

 It’s no secret that thanks to social media, we’re constantly inundated with photos, videos, and life updates from practically everyone in our lives. With non-stop exposure to everyone’s highlight moments, it can be all too easy for new mums to compare themselves to others. Whether it’s lamenting over how your house isn’t as neat and tidy as someone else’s or wondering why you haven’t snapped back to your pre-pregnancy body, remember that comparison is the ultimate thief of joy.

Rather, focus on reclaiming your identity by embracing your unique journey and recognising that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood. Take this as a gentle reminder that what you see online is often far from the truth, and there’s absolutely no benefit to comparing your unfiltered reality to that of someone else’s highlight reel. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all that matters.

  1. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help 

The experience of becoming a new mum can be incredibly stressful for many, and there’s absolutely no need to feel ashamed if you need some assistance. Remember that loss of identity and feelings of anxiety are incredibly common amongst new mums, and reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you’re struggling, it’s also always a good idea to reach out to a counsellor or therapist who will be able to provide professional support and guidance. Remember that your mental health matters and postpartum depression is an incredibly serious condition. So, be sure to prioritise your own wellbeing, which will in turn enable you to be the best mum you can possibly be for your little one. 



At the end of the day, reclaiming your identity as a new mum is one that requires you to treat yourself with utmost grace and compassion. By taking some of these tips on board, you’ll be much better equipped to strike the perfect balance between being a mum and being the unique, dynamic individual that you once were and still are. All the best!