From the desk of Roland Rocchiccioli – 13 November

It is difficult to understand why a company providing you with a telephone line – albeit mobile – requires so much personal information.

IN the olden days, way back when cocky was still an egg, getting a telephone connected was a relatively simple arrangement. You went to the office of the PMG. You filled-in a basic application form giving your name, address, and possibly the names of two referees. In a couple of weeks the PMG man – yes, they were male in those days – came knocking on the front door and he connected the phone. Three months later the PMG sent you a bill which, if you did not pay, they suspended the service until you did. It was a perfectly viable scheme which more than served its purpose.

Doing business was a simple procedure; that was before someone decided they need know to the ins-and-outs of a duck’s backside before they are able to arrive at satisfactory agreement.

I do not claim to be the sharpest pencil in the box, but I am certainly not the bluntest. I am possessed of a healthy serve of fox cunning; a liberal dose of wariness, and there is not much which goes over my head like a hairnet. For the life of me – and God knows I have applied what is laughingly called my mind to the issue, I cannot imagine any circumstances under which a company providing me a telephone service needs to know my passport and driver’s licence numbers, my date and place of birthday, my marital status, and the colour and brand of my socks and jocks! I am convinced: the world has gone mad!

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves…”

We should, all of us, have a soupçon of sympathy for Optus. Not for a nanosecond should we assume they were wilfully tardy in their protection of customer personal information; however, it was inevitable, and obvious – even to me, given Optus were sitting on such a rich repository of so much useful and valuable information – much of which is none of their bloody business – the crooks were always going to find a way of hacking the system. Of course they were going to mine that rich field. That is what crooks do!

The theft of the information – and what has, or has not, happened to it as a consequence is, for the most part, immaterial. The horse has bolted. While 9.8 million customers have every reason to be extremely vexed, finger-pointing and apportioning of blame is not going to make one iota of difference. Now, what must happen is a serious forensic review of how much information is collected; how much of it is unwarranted; and how it is store, and where.  We need to know the how and why!

Organisations need to concentrate less on profit – although that is important – and devote a whole deal more of their time and effort to customer service, and protecting client information. Also, litigious predisposition notwithstanding, it needs to be decided, by law if necessary, exactly what personal details one party should be expected to reveal to another when they are entering into a humdrum business arrangement.

The question is simple; the answer will be more complex. Exactly how much does an organisation need to know of your personal details, and how much are you required to tell them?

There are some wheels which do not require re-inventing. We need to get back to basics!

Roland can be heard with Brett Macdonald Mondays at 10.45am on 3BA and contacted via [email protected].