From the desk of Roland Rocchiccioli – 25 October

Being a good person is the most difficult state to achieve in our lives. It demands courage and constant commitment to dodge the line of least resistance.

HONESTY, decency, integrity and humility are human character traits which, oftentimes, are found to be wonting in our daily struggle for survival. It is too easy to relish the unravelling of someone’s life.

Many of us have a propensity for attacking the injured persona – like jackals circling the lame, or dying, prey. We find it easier, and more reassuring, to run with the mob – and we are of a herd mentality, than to stand aside in support of someone who has committed a grievous social solecism. Conversely, there are those whose moral turpitude deserves the gravity of public opprobrium.

For some, it is too easy, and too irresistibly self-satisfying, to take the moral high ground; to drop ash from a great height; to create a firestorm of inflicted pain. Self-aggrandisement and disingenuousness run rife through our society, and becomes even more prevalent at the first hint of a chink in the miscreant’s armour. Gleefully, we go for the jugular rather than pausing to reflect on the circumstances; to evaluate; to be measured and to make concessions for an insensitive moment of aberration. Perceived power is insidious.

In reality, we have an insatiable want to be liked; to be loved and needed. We are in a constant search for self-affirmation. Inferiority complexes manifest themselves in the most destructive manner. To achieve an amenable pass we will obfuscate and abuse the truth. Some will say and do whatever it takes – regardless of the aftermath. Sincerity falls victim to expediency. Many will, for the sake of public perception, engage in hypocrisy with alacrity, and devote no serious thinking to the repercussions.

Then there are those who, in the eye of the maelstrom, and to curry favour, contend one attitude in private, and another on social media. The controversy surrounding the reprehensible text message sent by the Ballarat Times’ editor is an exemplar. The content cannot be condoned or ignored.

However, there are questions to be answered, and important lessons to be learned. Any public platform comes with weighty responsibility; however, the implacability to destroy a career is an over-reaction, by any sympathetic measure; and that is not to say the punishment should not fit the crime. Our responses, however strident, should be rational and, hopefully, tempered with kindness.  Compassion is not a sign of weakness; nor does it serve to trivialise the offence, or the intended impact on the offender. Peculiarly, it can be even more powerful, (the steel hand in the kid glove!)

In the vein of megalomania, relevance deprivation syndrome is a real psychological condition. It stimulates people to do and say, and, in this day and age, to write spitefully and hypocritically. The totally improper braggartry and offending sexualised reference in the message from the editor of the Ballarat Times should not be deemed a hanging offence, and it is not a male exclusive social taboo.

Some years ago, an Australian female editor, when asked the whereabouts of a staff member missing from a meeting, suggested (in more graphic terms than paraphrased), he might be located somewhere in the building, masturbating. Mostly, it was greeted with good humour, as was intended, but it does not alter the grossness of the retort.

Symbols are important. Mottos have a lasting meaning. My school motto was ‘Honour Before Honours’, while the boarding-house motto was ‘Amore et Donare’ (Love and Give). The school hymn was ‘Soldiers Of The Cross Arise’. They were, and we were regaled relentlessly, the values by which one should strive to live one’s life. It is a constant battle.

Firing-off a missive for effect, and with no real caring, does nothing to advance to the narrative, or to help heal the wounds. It divides where we should seek consensus.

Finally, constructive is more difficult than destructive.

Consider. Be kind.

Roland can be heard on RADIO 3BA, every Monday morning, 10.45 and contacted via [email protected].