From the desk of Roland Rocchiccioli – 26 July

I am not physical violent by temperament, but there are moments when other people’s silliness makes me want to bang heads together in vexation.

I MADE a mistake. I am not looking to apportion blame. I accept full responsibility for the blunder; however, the outcome is so ludicrous one wants to spit! I took a parcel to the post office containing a homemade fruitcake. In the process of the paying for the postage and the cost of the box ($20) I neglected to sign the mandatory, and most important, dangerous goods declaration.

Imagine the surprise when I pasted the tracking number into the Australia Post, Track My Item, application and discovered: Delayed – dangerous goods declaration not signed. WENDOUREE VIC. When I telephoned a post office to enquire, I was informed the parcel would be sent by road, as a precaution, and they could not provide an accurate estimation for delivery. Thank God for coronavirus! It has become the scape goat for every incompetence, and is a welcome change from computer error being the culprit.

I reckon, with a degree of certitude, I am not the first person who has failed to sign the declaration; however, together with my name and address on the back of the box, I provided my telephone number. Surely, it would not be too onerous a task for an employee to call the given phone number, explain the anomaly, and suggest the sender present at the post office, or other location, to sign the required declaration? Given the cost of postage it is the least one might expect. I will bet you, London to a brick, such a predicament is not included in the employees’ operational manual, and therefore it is not part of daily workplace procedure. Common sense (which is, in itself, a misnomer because it is not common) should prevail under the circumstances. One could be forgiven for imagining the current protocol is a calculated form of punitive action for failing to complete the important procedure; or perhaps it is just a matter of total indifference to the customer. (The ‘tell someone who cares’ mentality!)

The coronavirus notwithstanding, there was a time when Australia Post was a first-rate organisation. In my childhood, the post office and the police station were the nub of the small shanty town. Its reliability and service were impeccable. The current implacable determination to eliminate what is cleverly demonised as snail-mail is regrettable. One might suspect it has become snail-mail by management strategy. (A no-overtime policy.) It is too ridiculous that mail, posted in Ballarat for local delivery, is sent to Melbourne and then returned. The service in the lead-up to Christmas is truly deplorable. One year, some 50 Christmas cards, posted a week before, were delivered a week into the New Year. My complaint was dismissed with platitudinous gobbledegook, self-praise – which is no recommendation – and a book of stamps! The gist of their defence relied on an increase in business! Well, der!!!

Equally, it is inconceivable, given the financial constraints many Australians are enduring, that $10 million of taxpayer’s money has been spent in designing a new sales logo. While the design – a combination of wattle and the letters AU – is rather splendid, the argument for its implementation is spurious. In Italy, la Festa della Donna, celebrates the importance of women by the giving and receiving mimosa blossom. South Africa and New Zealand categorised wattle as an environmental weed. Since 1869, AU has been, in the English-speaking world, the international periodic table symbol for gold. The combination is confusing.

The instantly recognisable kangaroo and boomerang are uniquely Australian. Stick with them. Their origin is unambiguous.

PS: Recently, I wrote in this column of raising the Colosseum. Obviously, I meant razing. Once published the solecism stuck-out like the proverbial dog’s you-know-what! I did mutter to myself: “Get it right, Roland. It’s not that hard!!”

Roland can be heard on RADIO 3BA, every Monday morning, 10.45 and contacted via [email protected].