Shared parenting can bind women to abuse

UNDERSTANDING the urgency and importance of research in the area of family violence, a free lecture on the topic will be presented by Federation University Australia on White Ribbon Day Friday, 23 November.

Associate Professor Elisa Backer will deliver the presentation titled – Victims of Family Violence and their children: how does equal shared parental responsibility post-separation impact their quality of life?

Under the Family Law Act, amended in 2006, there is a presumption of equal shared parental responsibility.

This is not about visitation and how much time each parent has, it is about both parents jointly making the big decisions for the child, such as location, education and medical access.

“That all sounds very sensible and acceptable, except where you are dealing with someone who is abusive and controlling and they use that in an inappropriate way,” said Ms Backer who is undertaking her second PhD in the area of family violence.

She cites examples like women that have been unable to relocate because they need the male partners permission and he refuses to grant it, passports going unapproved, and male partners who refuse to allow a child to speak to a school counsellor or psychologist.

“These are mechanisms that can be used that are not in the best interests of the child.”

Reading for her doctorate, reviewing law cases and psychology research led Ms Backer to realise that there is an assumption when a woman in an abusive relationship separates from her partner that she’s is free.

“But the Family Law Act connects you if you have children,” said Ms Backer. “You don’t have freedom and there is an opportunity for continuing and ongoing control from an abusive partner.”

Ms Backer pondered on how can this be in the best interest of the child who is caught in between.

“I actually want to answer this question and potentially maybe it will make some difference to some people’s lives, which for me is urgent and important.”

There is a section in the Family Law Act that says if there has been child abuse or family violence in a relationship, the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility can be rebutted.

Not everyone goes through litigation to resolve things and therefore that presumption is there by default said Ms Backer.

“What concerns me is that there are a lot of people not aware of this opportunity to rebut, the presumption sits there by default and then women and their children are stuck in this ongoing problem.”

“A woman, who is a victim of an abusive relationship, with her self-confidence destroyed by her abusive partner thinks she is stupid because that is what she keeps getting told is frightened, shattered, very weak and confused so to try and make big decisions in that state is a really tall order.”

Ms Backer sees White Ribbon Day as important in opening up the subject to the community because it is often well hidden.

“The tentacles of family violence are enormous.”

“If we can start from an education aspect, we can open up awareness for legal professionals, counsellors, education and health service providers and even workplaces, to give them a specific understanding so they can empathise and recognise family violence and the ongoing impact.”

A White Ribbon accredited workplace can be crucial in delivering specific leave to support a victim of abuse as well as providing a safe space for a conversation with someone who may possibly be in an abusive relationship.

The White Ribbon initiative also serves to stamp out and call out disrespectful behaviour by men towards women.

It empowers men to say ‘that sort of conversation about women is inappropriate’ or simply pull up a mate or a colleague and say ‘that’s not on.’

It is imperative for Ms Backer to publish empirical data from her PhD research to share in the family violence space as the gravitas of a doctorate could help change the game plan, where children are the pawns on the board.

“We need to question if these equal shared parental responsibility decisions are really in the best interests of the child,” she said.

Ms Backer hypothesises there are children with dysfunctional behaviour as a result of this ongoing aspect.

“It is a about the legal responsibility for a child and part of that is welfare of the child, and that includes the mental welfare.”

Ms Backer’s aim is for better education and awareness – while the law does give the opportunity for equally shared responsibility to be rebutted, it’s just not being utilised.

The hour-long event will be held at 11am on Friday, 23 November in the Brewery Building at Ballarat Technology Park Central, 106 Lydiard Street South, Ballarat.

Ms Backer said a central location with a midmorning start makes the talk more accessible to the business and the broader community, in particular there may be some victims who may want to engage in the information.

The presentation will outline what is family violence, what underlies the motives from abusive and controlling men to behave that way, and why behaviour doesn’t usually change.

Included will be coverage of the types of mind games played by abusive and controlling men and why they can appear to be one thing to the public but be another behind closed doors.