Nobody’s perfect: local therapist’s book helps new generation of parents

FOR 20 years, Lisa Taylor has been helping parents across Geelong find their way and now her work will be shared even further.

The Bellarine therapist has released her first book, The Perfect Parent Trap, in the hopes of helping parents on their journey.

For years she has seen parents trying to be perfect and being surprised when they are, in fact, human.

“I hear the pressure they put on themselves and the most important thing that we can do is not be perfect for our kids, because then they know it’s okay to not be perfect,” Taylor said.

“The Perfect Parent Trap is these expectations around having to have it all perfect and be perfect in a world that actually is not perfect.”

A mother of three, the former teacher pulled on decades of experience working one-on-one with parents as well as her experiences raising her own family and being raised herself.

In one chapter, Taylor reflects on being a young mother, caring for her two and four year olds while dealing with the grief of losing a parent.

“[I remember] standing at the kitchen bench, wondering where I can go, where I can run away to because it just felt too big, and in that moment realising that the kids weren’t the problem, I was the one that needed to change,” Taylor said.

“That’s been something that’s really stuck with me through the whole thing: kids don’t need changing, they need me to change.

“I’ve never met a child that needed fixing, but I’ve met plenty of children that need understanding and listening and love and care.”

Through the book, Taylor encourages parents to look internally to identify how their experiences are shaping the parents they are through “heartprints”.

In other words, reflect on the impacts their own upbringing is having on their parenting.

“The more we can educate parents on what’s happening for them internally, the more they understand their own heartprints,” she said.

“Then we can listen to what’s happening for them, and they can move on quicker rather than getting caught in an emotional kind of windstorm.”

It’s an approach 25 years in the making, but one the former teacher knew she had to share.

“If I didn’t write this book, I would regret it,” she said.

“I’ve spent a lot of time learning and gathering and just sitting with incredible people. In the book I share some of their stories, and we need to honour them.

“We really need to honour parents.”

Taylor said the book feels like a natural extension of her work as a therapist and she hopes families of all shapes and sizes can find assistance in its pages.

Combining Taylor’s expertise knowledge with personal stories and at-home practical worksheets, the book is a guide for parents to building renewed relationships with their children.

The Perfect Parent Trap, published by Amba Press, is out now.