Faith, flexibility and the modern wedding shift

FEWER couples are choosing church weddings, as changing traditions and new preferences reshape how Australians say “I do”.

A report, released by the Australian Institute of Family Studies in 2024, found that 83 per cent of the weddings conducted in 2023 were officiated by a civil celebrant – part of a steady decline in religious ceremonies.

For many, the decision isn’t about faith as much as it is about flexibility.

Reverend Karen Eller, minister at Drysdale and Portarlington Uniting Churches, said some venues simply no longer suit a traditional wedding layout.

Her own church lacks a centre aisle, a feature many couples still associate with the classic “walk down the aisle” moment.

“What we could do is they could walk down one aisle and leave by the other aisle,” she said.

Eller’s wife, Reverend Jeanne Beale of St Albans-St Andrews Uniting Church in Geelong, said many couples picture a dramatic entrance that modern reception venues or outdoor settings can more easily provide.

For some same gender couples, she said, churches can carry painful associations.

“They tend not to want to utilise church buildings because the church has been a great source of pain,” she said. “I have been blessed to marry several same gender couples.”

Still, some communities hold tightly to tradition.

“Polynesian weddings are more likely to be in a church,” Beale said, citing the “stronger faith connection” among the younger Polynesian generations.

Practical factors play a role too. Hosting weddings can add weeks of work for ministry teams, Reverend David Willsher of Bellarine Anglican Churches said.

Yet, for couples, marrying in a church often costs far less than commercial venues.

“The celebrant fee will be much less… it’s a ministry to the couple to establish them in a good godly marriage,” Reverend Willsher said.

Church ceremonies also follow set religious rites, a limitation for couples wanting custom vows or non-religious elements.

Still, ministers like Eller remain open.

“I’ll marry anyone if I’m satisfied there’s a real commitment to be married,” she said.

While fewer weddings take place within church walls, the sentiment endures.

“You’re connecting with a long history,” Willsher said. “It’s a place of permanence… reminding people of God’s permanence.”