Support for living, dying and grieving

PAULINE Nunan, 67, rarely got sick and knew little about the medical realm until five years ago when her long-term partner Bob Fuller, was diagnosed with lymphoma.

The next chapter of their lives involved countless hospital visits, scans, chemotherapy and treatments, until the earth-shattering news his cancer was incurable.

“He’d had lymphoma for quite some time, we went into his haematologist appointment one afternoon in Melbourne and they said they couldn’t do anymore, there were no more treatments,” Ms Nunan said.

“They said, ‘We’re really sorry, we can see from the scans that things aren’t good’. Bob didn’t seem that unwell, we went for a walk around the zoo and the park, then two and a half months later, he died.”

It was how Bob died, in his own home, that ignited a passion in Ms Nunan to provide others the same right; 12 months later she launched Compassionate Hearts on the Bellarine (CHoB).

“It is a new volunteer support group organisation, CHoB aims to provide non-medical assistance for patients at the end of life, and for their carers.

“Many people wish to remain in their own homes with the medical support of palliative care staff. At a time of grief, dying, death and caregiving, CHoB will bring additional emotional, social, spiritual and practical assistance as required, as good neighbours.”

Ms Nunan said Bob’s time at home was made possible by friend and palliative care physician Doctor David Bromley, who inspired Ms Nunan to form CHoB alongside retired doctor Kate Jackson.

“Kate is a retired palliative care physician and pain management specialist. They see professionals and volunteers can work together effectively, to assist those facing the end of their lives,” she said.

“Similar compassionate communities exist in other parts of Australia and overseas. They are modelled on the concept that dying is a social, psychological and spiritual experience with medical dimensions, not the reverse emphasis on the medical aspect.”

Pauline and Bob lived in Melbourne but frequented their home in Queenscliff where Bob wanted to die, a reality made possible thanks to Dr Bromley.

“We felt confident David could look after Bob and allow him to stay home, which he did until he died peacefully. Shortly after his death Dr Bromley and Dr Jackson organised an event where they spoke about a compassionate community.

“It’s supporting the medical side with non-medical assistance. Sitting with the person who is unwell, while their carer takes a break, walking their dog, doing a bit of gardening.

“CHoB support doctors, nurses and the medical staff who can’t be on call all the time. We currently have 14 volunteers who are now trained and ready to go out and support people.

“Bob was comfortable when he died, he died with dignity. He didn’t want to be in a hospital where he wasn’t comfortable in his own space. I was able to make the house as quiet or as noisy as he liked. Sometimes he wanted his own music, sometimes he didn’t.

“They say up to 70 per cent of people would prefer to die at home, and only 15 per cent do.”

Ms Nunan thanked the Borough of Queenscliffe and Corangamite federal member Libby Coker for their grants and local residents Dale and Neil Tezise for a generous donation to help launch the organisation.

“Bellarine Community Health has also supported us greatly with administrative assistance and space for meetings.”

CHoB’s current volunteers are mainly retirees who have lost someone or have experience with palliative care.

“They’ve been through something in their own life and feel for other people going through it. At this stage, we’re not taking new volunteers but encourage people to email us and go on the list, we will contact them when we are in early 2020.”

For more information, head to chob.org.au, phone: 5294 0477 or email: [email protected].