From the desk of Roland Rocchiccioli

A FOOL and his money is soon parted! I should know, someone helped themselves to $1.6-million of mine! However, in pathetic defence, mine was stolen by a first-rate conman.

He even forged letters from the bank. He is of those, whom, if he devoted the same component of energy and ingenuity to living his life on the right side of the law, would be a roaring success. He was so adroit he fooled two solicitors — mine and his, and managed to steal my Richmond terrace house. Coming to terms with the truth and overcoming the humiliation, is difficult, always. His brilliance notwithstanding, I have come to accept: I was the culprit, not the victim. I allowed someone to steal my money. Without acknowledging a personal responsibility, one never fully recovers and remains in constant danger of sinking into a slough of melancholia.

Conversely, there are those who, stupidly, lose their money through vanity, silliness, and outright greed. It is difficult to conclude which is the more egregious human foible. Regularly, one hears the tedious bleating of those who, having invested their life savings in an irresistible get-rich-quick scheme discover a cunning charlatan has relieved them of every last cent! When will people learn? If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Greed leaves hapless victims in its unforgiving wake — often at the wrong of their lives and facing a bleak future of impecunity.

You are looking for trouble when you go online seeking ‘love and romance’ in all the wrong places. What are people thinking, sending vast sums of money to a photograph — which is invariably a stolen identity, in a developing country? It is beyond comprehension. How could anyone be so stupid; so gullible? As for the hoary tale of woe: “My mother has cancer, and I need money to pay for her medical expenses” — don’t be fooled. It is one of the most common ruses, and seemingly, never fails. He is not looking for sympathy, just money! The truth is disagreeable. Money is the common factor between 20-year-old Godfred from Ghana, and 75-year-old Lurline from Leeton. He is itching, and so long as there is a chance of fleecing, he will pursue the romance.

It is certifiable madness for Lurline from Leeton, however smitten, to believe Godfred from Ghana — whose online photograph bears an uncanny resemblance to American supermodel, Tyson Beckford, is seriously in love with her. He is using her physical disintegration, which regrettably comes with distance from ones date of birth, to steal her money.

Geriatric Reg from Red Creek, whose only remaining hair sprouts from his nose and ears and now waddles with a beer gut which makes him look as if he is about to deliver, is a silly old goat! His fantasy that 18-year-old Gloria from Ghana — who, judging by her picture, is obviously Naomi Campbell’s long-lost twin sister, is lusting after his loins is too pathetic. These days, Reg is barely able to get his arm up…

Growing old is tough— it is not for sissies. We all lose our charms in the end. You to toddle-off to bed with your own body, and wake-up with someone else’s. Overnight, everything has moved south. It is depressing. Occasionally, I catch sight in the mirror and think: “Who’s that old bloke?” A voice shouts: “It’s you, idiot!” It is a sobering realisation.

It is time to wake-up! Get a grip! Stop the financial nonsense! Contact: [email protected]