Lonely hearts inspire real world love

MORE than three million Australians use apps like Tinder or Hinge to connect, but a recent move away from swiping has opened the door to other ways of finding romance.

Bad experiences and an unsafe online environment has been part of the move to delete the apps and it’s this that led Bendigo local Megan Simpson to co-found new online dating service Higher Love.

“It came about because I had personally experienced online dating stories, and I’d also heard many other online dating stories that had been painful for singles and harmful for singles,” she said.

“My strongest desire was to make the internet a better place for singles.”

The platform combines virtual personal growth workshops with opportunities for singles to connect during and outside of the sessions.

“We made use of our own skills and expertise to bring learnings to singles so that they can set the foundation of self-love and do some learning about healthy relating while they’re in the dating scene.”

Marriage and relationship counsellor Jan Harbrow, who practices out of an office on Napier Street, said although she didn’t see too many clients who had used apps, seeking a partner who is honest is a good place to start.

“I think some of these dating apps you can present yourself in a better light than you actually exist in,” she said.

The counsellor said societal pressures to be in a relationship could be unhealthy and lead to falling into relationships that aren’t well suited to individual needs.

“There’s a great push upon people to be in a relationship, I find that interesting,” Ms Harbrow said.

“I think it’s good to be solo and to build on who you are while you are solo, so that when you do meet a potential connection you’ve got more to offer,” she said.

Ms Harbrow said when a potential connection comes along people should look for similar values and an ability to listen, whether on the apps or not.

A soon to be launched feature of Higher Love aims to give singles a safe place to meet vetted potential connections who align with the values of the service and are ready to pursue a relationship.

“Our intention is to provide that space where you don’t have to filter through thousands and thousands of profiles,” Ms Simpson said.

“That you know you’re in a space where everyone is who they say they are and is there with good intentions.”

Higher Love accepts singles from all over Australia of all genders and sexualities but stipulates participants be over 35 and looking for a monogamous relationship.

“The community vibe is going to hold the respect and integrity that needs to be there for singles to feel comfortable and safe,” Ms Simpson said.