Reflections on childhood

I was 12 when young classically trained Australian pop singer Kate Miller-Heidke released her first-person account on childhood bullying that struck a chord across Australia, Caught in the Crowd.

Miller-Heidke is down-to-earth, honest and has a humility that you might not expect from someone who’s represented Australia in Eurovision, topped the pop music charts and written musicals.

I remember hearing the song for the first time, close to tears, on a bus ride home from school. It’s the story of a young boy James, left alone by the story’s singer when he most needed a friend: “If I could go back do it again, I’d be someone you could call friend. Please, please, please believe that I’m sorry.”

More than a decade later, the song is still an anti-bullying anthem and has even been used by the federal government’s “Bullying: no way!” anti-bullying curriculum.

Miller-Heidke’s technically brilliant vocals and clever melodies are simply dimensions of soul-piercing stories.

She is as much storyteller as she is singer, and now, more than a decade later, she is again reflecting on childhood on her latest album Child in Reverse, but this time as a mother, with a perspective and wisdom only time and perhaps parenthood can bring.

Child in Reverse is shaped by her own experience of childhood and life growing up in Southern Queensland.

“It’s all about childhood, it’s about unlearning. Unlearning old habits that sometimes stretch a long way back, trying to rewrite those old neuropathways,” Miller-Heidke said.

“It was a fundamental influence.

“I think it was just percolating in my brain after having my own child.

“That’s probably the sad experience of a lot of parents – you have a kid and suddenly memories of your own childhood descend. You sort of can’t help comparing how you experienced childhood with the life you’re giving your own kids.

“So that’s why that was weighing on my mind at that point when all these songs came out.”

“Dear five-year-old me / I wish I could reach back in time / And tell you it’s alright / You’re gonna be just fine / I wish I could help you to see” Miller-Heidke sings in chorus of one of the album’s songs Twelve Year Old Me.

The album is filled with life stories and songs that speak to childhood, with You Can’t Hurt Me Anymore featuring Jaguar Jonze being particularly significant.

“I had been talking with Jaguar Jonze about the abuse she suffered during her childhood. I started to think about an experience I had during my own childhood and jotted down the title ‘You Can’t Hurt Me Anymore’,” Miller-Heidke said.

“She described some very shocking things that happened to her as a child, and I felt very connected to her, and full of admiration for her resilience too – that’s when the song title You Can’t Hurt Me Anymore popped into my head.”

 

Miller-Heidke said the song and production came together quickly and everyone in the room felt the song’s significance immediately.

“That day Tobias Kuhn brought in that circular minor synth hook that explodes into the beautiful release of a major one. It immediately worked for the title. We had an amazing day that day – everyone was so excited by the epic pre-chorus, possibly the best pre-chorus I’ve ever been involved in writing. I cried a bit. I had never written directly about this before, and it was cathartic.”

“I think it’s one of the most powerful songs I’ve written, and it’s a privilege to sing it with Jaguar Jonze, who transformed the track with her potent raw energy.”

At each show on the Child in Reverse tour, Miller-Heidke is planning to invite a child up on stage to sing Caught in the Crowd with her.

“It’s just something that’s started quite spontaneously. Before my last few gigs, I’ve been contacted by kids who want to get up on stage.

“I’ve noticed more and more kids, particularly kids who love to sing, have been coming to my shows.”

 

She said she is both nervous and excited to finally bring the new songs to life on stage.

“It’s always different. It’s sort of amazing how you know songs in live performance are almost like living organisms and they always change. For this tour I’m extra excited to play the new stuff. Nervous and excited.

“You never quite know what a song’s going to become when you put it in front of a live audience. There’s no way to rehearse that.”

Miller-Heidke said being back on stage is something she doesn’t take for granted after spending 2020 in Melbourne lockdowns, having many shows cancelled and a tour delayed in 2021.

“Speaking from the perspective of an audience member, I don’t think I really appreciated until the pandemic how much I relied on live performance and seeing live art for my mental health.

“I’ve come to realize now It’s my equivalent of church, you know human beings are animals and we need that, we need to feel that connection.

“Not just with whoever’s on stage but with members of the audience. I’ve been to see quite a few things in the past few months, and it really feels like a catharsis for people. It’s really joyful and quite emotional and for me it’s been healing so I’m totally thrilled to be going out on the road again.”

Miller- Heidke just getting started and already planning a trip to head back to Broadway.

“After this, my collaborator and I are headed to New York. We’re looking to do a big Broadway lab for Muriel’s Wedding so that will be exciting, getting to go oversees for the first time in what feels like many years.”

Miller-Heidke will be performing at Costa Hall, Geelong on July 15, with special guest Didirri. For tickets, head to frontiertouring.com/katemillerheidke.