Wellness coach says make time for mum
Setting aside quality time to nurture the mother-daughter relationship, where possible, can be a step toward improving your wellbeing and support systems, according to Surf Coast wellness expert Jo Surkitt.
As Mother’s Day approaches tomorrow (May 8), Jo says it is a timely reminder to make time for your mum in circumstances where the hectic pace of life or a breakdown in communication has gotten in the way.
“Although mother-daughter relationships are often idealised in our minds, in reality, they are frequently complex and surprisingly complicated.
“They are also highly varied. There are cultural and generational differences in how mothers and daughters relate to one another as we get older. Every relationship between mum and daughter changes over time, but they also take many different forms.
“Maybe you get the opportunity to briefly check in with you Mum as you chop the veggies for dinner or whack her on speaker phone as you do school pick up. Perhaps you text on your lunch break during busy days at the office or just before you leave for your weekly class at the gym.
“Or maybe you and your mother don’t chat much at all these days as life has gotten too hectic or you’ve said some things to each other that have damaged your relationship.”
Jo advises that while some mother-daughter relationships cannot be repaired no matter what you do, for others there may be changes you can make to turn a difficult relationship into a positive connection.
“Whatever the case, the relationship will benefit if you take time out to relax, explore and connect more deeply with each other,” she says.
“After all, no relationship is as primal as that between mother and daughter.
“Lee Sharkey, who teaches in the Faculty of Women’s and Gender Studies at the University of Maine Farmington in the United States, says as females grow our energy is largely often focused on men but the original love relationship is with our mother.
“She says ‘If we as daughters don’t acknowledge that, we’re closing ourselves off from a great source of power and fulfilment and understanding of ourselves’.”
Jo, herself a mother to two young sons, is the founder of wellness tourism company Revitalise Escapes and says part of what she loves about her business is helping busy daughters and the mothers to nurture their relationship through quality time spent together away from everything else.
Jo encourages women who are fortunate enough to be able to do so, to see their mum for Mother’s Day or perhaps arrange an experience they can share and discover together.
“It’s a great way to deepen the relationship and bond together and learn more about each other as adults. ”
Jo and her mother Susan have been able to support each other through significant challenges, including losing Jo’s father to cancer 15 years ago.
“But with young children I sometimes find it difficult to get that quality time together, rushing from activities, staccato conversations, never finishing a sentence or hearing a complete conversation.”
Travelling together has provided the perfect opportunity to connect in a more meaningful way.
“I felt I needed some precious time with Mum where we talk about family history, our highs, lows, our passions and our childhoods,” she says.
Revitalise Escapes has just launched a mini retreat package especially for Mother’s Day which enables women to try a range of healing and wellness therapies over a 90-minute time frame. Discover more on the Revitalise Escapes website.