Tunes for Tommy

TOM Fraser was passionate about cars, their mechanics and his dog, Santa. He was a generous mate to those near and new, he had a big laugh, and he loved his music loud.

Earlier this year, Tom’s parents, his two brothers and friends lost him to suicide.

Throughout his 29 years, he had lived constantly with hereditary anxiety and depression, bipolar disorder and bullying at school, in the workplace and in a personal relationship.

Now, Tom’s mother and father, Lyn and Scott Fraser are working to try and ensure other families are never in their situation. They don’t want to be “survivors of suicide,” they want to be active.

“Over the years, Tom sought help from many medical practitioners. Over the last six months of his life, his mental health declined, and he felt extremely lonely, although he often had visits regularly from many of his friends,” Mrs Fraser said.

Tom had a clear understanding of his mental health and would express to his family when he was particularly unwell, but felt like no one could truly empathise. Then he made up his mind.

“He just said, ‘there’s no hope, I can’t see any future… I’ve had enough.’

“He was desperate for help. In the psych ward, there’s only 12 beds, and he was turned away. It’s not good enough,” Mrs Fraser said.

“In the early hours of Friday, May 10^th everything became too much for him and he tragically took his life.”

“Tommy” was known for his “epic tunes and big hugs.” Saturday 5 October, music and mateship will blend thoughtfully at the North Britain Hotel for Tommy’s Big Day Out.

The afternoon of entertainment from 2pm to 5pm, has been organised as an awareness generator and fundraiser for the Black Dog Institute, a research hub aiming to reduce mental illness, its stigma and prevent suicide.

With Shane Brennan as MC, local musicians Ash Egan, Anna Bilbrough, Harry Lamb, Freya Valpied, Max Edwards and Penny Nulty will perform varying genres of tunes over three hours.

Scott Fraser is a musician, teacher and busker. His son had “an ear for music.

“He loved old and modern stuff. You didn’t drive anywhere with Tom because it had to be on all the time,” he laughed. “But that was good.

“I like going out busking, and Tom would set all of that up for me, hands on. He was good company, and he’s always with me.”

Mr Fraser said Tommy would have liked his Big Day Out, which will simply be great entertainment for all tastes.

Starting with a $10 entry fee, exclusive t-shirts will be available, silent auctions will run and a spinning wheel will determine the lucky winners of goods, accommodation, massages and vouchers donated by local businesses.

But although community support of this initiative has been “incredible” for Mrs Fraser, ultimately she said local psych services are still “appalling” in the face of a mental health “epidemic.

“Our city should come together as one and work towards making sure that our city does not rate in the high suicide rates in our state.

“It can strike any family, whether you’re rich or poor. Far too many families, particularly in Ballarat, have suffered similar circumstances like ours, and no family should ever have to face these tragic circumstances,” she said.

“Just one life is one too many.”

If you are unable to attend but wish to show your support, head to teamblackdog.everydayhero.com/au/tommy-s-big-day-out.