Adam takes message for men public

GORDON man Adam Toohey is one of the faces of a new Respect Victoria campaign aimed at encouraging men to think about what their masculinity means to them.

What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be? is appearing on the Respect Victoria website, in online videos, and in public advertising.

The 29-year-old tradesman was surrounded by strong female influences while he was growing up and was not exposed to what is described as toxic masculinity until his late teens.

He credits the women in his life, along with supportive male mentors such as his local football coaches, for inspiring his passion to be a positive role model for young men.

Mr Toohey will speak at Ballarat’s Men Leading Change Forum on Friday 5 December, which will be headlined by former AFL player Mitch Brown.

The forum theme is Healthy masculinities for healthy relationships – at home, at work, and in the community.

It is being organised by the City of Ballarat, Women’s Health Grampians, and Respect Victoria, and is part of the global United Nations-led 16 Days Against Gender-Based Violence campaign that will run from 25 November to 10 December.

Mr Toohey and his partner recently welcomed their first child, a boy, and it prompted them to think about how they want to raise their son.

“I’m no longer the most important person in the world,” Mr Toohey said.

“I have a partner, and now our son. So for me it’s about: what can I do to be the best role model for him?

“There’s no rulebook; it’s about learning and it’s about just trying to be a really good example for my son, for my family, for everyone.”

Working on construction sites, Mr Toohey has seen other men make sexist and disrespectful comments that have made him uncomfortable.

He said when that has happened, he took the person aside and asked them to reflect on how their comments made others feel – including the women in their lives.

Of his earlier years, Mr Toohey said growing up with four sisters and a strong mother taught him that respect and equality are vital in healthy relationships.

He said the advice he would have given his younger self is “be your best self”.

“You don’t always have to fit in with others’ idea of masculinity,” he said. “You can speak up and be your own man.”

The Men Leading Change Forum will take place at The Goods Shed from 9am to 1pm on 5 December.

It is a free event and all tickets have already been allocated.