Troubled relationship song hits the right chords

What can be hard to say can be easier to sing according to Tess Guthrie, whose latest song about abusive relationships has attracted over 20,000 hits on Facebook.

Singer-songwriter Tess, 24, grew up in Torquay and said she wrote The Di##head Song to empower her friends and women who find themselves in abusive relationships.

“I wrote it a couple of months ago. I was reflecting on how as a friend I’ve been in a situation so many times before where you kind of have this struggle,” she said.

“You see your friend being treated badly by their partner, they confide in you and you have this internal monologue just ranting about how fantastic your friend is.

“You think how their boyfriend just doesn’t deserve them and how your friend is so loved, but you also recognise why they just can’t leave, it can be difficult to break up.”

Tess said the song which was played on triple j Unearthed was written out of a desperate want for her friend to feel loved and empowered without being judged.

“Judging doesn’t help and of course I wouldn’t want my friend to feel uncomfortable talking to me. The songs pretty light-hearted but covers some not so light-hearted content,” she said.

“I think the song is an accessible way to start having what can be a difficult conversation.”

Tess said she’s felt touched that the hits keep climbing and her song and its message have gone beyond the realms of her own circle.

“I’ve been really surprised. People I’ve never met are talking about it and sharing it with their friends. It’s gone beyond my own friendship group and that feels pretty amazing, I’ve been very touched by it,” she said.

“There’s a lot of subtleties in it, it’s important to be aware in general how we use language in terms of victim blaming. This song is an opportunity to have some conversations and think about our own behaviours.

“There’s a real problem with putting the responsibility on people to leave abusive relationships rather than recognising people’s responsibility not to be abusive in the first place.”

Tess said when it comes to writing music she has evolved from trying to make things sound “clever” or “musically complex” to playing and writing what makes her feel best.

“My sister said to me it doesn’t really matter what songs are, it matters how they make you feel. Ever since then I’ve felt free to write about what I want and what I care about,” she said.

“What I like about music at the moment is how it can capture things that are difficult to talk about.”

To listen to the song and keep up to date with Tess’ gigs, go to facebook.com/TessGuthrieMusic or triplejunearthed.com/artist/tess-guthrie.