Newtown doula helps families through loss

NEWTOWN’S Martine Renwick describes her comfort with death as a “gift”, one she uses to help guide others through the fear of their nearing death or the death of a loved one.

“I was given a gift that I’m comfortable around death…so I thought ‘I need to help others be okay with it too’.”

This comfort evolved from an experience she had with a dying loved one, who fell into a coma after an accident.

“They were of Italian background, and the rule is when you’re Italian you don’t die alone.

“She didn’t have anyone and so I stayed with her for four nights – she was like my mum – and slept beside her, not knowing if she was going to die.

“When she did die, I had my hand on her, touching her, and felt her last breath. It was an honour and a privilege. It’s like being at a birth. It’s an honour to see a baby being born, to be there and see the miracle, and at the end, I’m seeing them return.”

Driven by a desire to help others and use her experience to put them at ease, Ms Renwick became a trained “end of life doula” – a non-medical professional who provides comfort and education for the dying and their family members.

Part of her role is to provide comfort, education and support to families, as well as to act as liaison between them and the medical team. She calls herself an “event organiser”.

To encourage open conversations about death and dying, each month, along with fellow ‘death doula’ Robyn Cuthbert, Ms Renwick also hosts the Death Chat Café.

Inspired by similar initiatives operating both locally and abroad, the free community service brings together people from all walks of life on the second Wednesday of each month at Newtown’s Brioche Café, sometimes with a guest speaker, sometimes without.

“Who else do you ask? The nurses haven’t got time to answer you. The doctor hasn’t got time to answer you. These are just basic questions from our experience and training that we can answer.

“We don’t cry, not very often, it’s more laughing because we make it normal conversation.”

And if Ms Renwick had her way, every suburb in the country would have access to a similar service to help the community find answers to their important questions and receive the guidance needed to ensure their last moments, or those of a loved one, become “beautiful memories”.

She said the Death Chat Café had both regular attendees and those who came searching for specific answers, with Ms Renwick helping to them to understand their options, including allowing their loved one to die a home, deciding between a coffin or a shroud and hiring a cooling blanket from a local funeral home to spend more time with their loved one once they have passed.

“Just come along. No experience necessary, everyone’s welcome,” Ms Renwick said.

For more information, phone Martine Renwick on 0438 829 244, head to the Death Chat Geelong Facebook page or @SacredDoulaCareGeelong on Instagram.