You can almost hear the day-trippers singing all the way back to Melbourne after another glorious day queueing on the Great Ocean Road [GOR] in the mad few weeks of the summer …

Deck the beach with cast-off poly 

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Watch the locals do their lolly

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Leave the mess, it’s not our issue

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Nappies, pooh, and wads of tissue

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

There is no doubt that the summer hordes are a boon to the town—indeed, our businesses depend on it, despite that it can be exhausting—as it brings a monetary influx that sustains the township through the colder, quiet months.  Nevertheless, it is hard for local townsfolk, trained to a gentler, parking-spot-available lifestyle, not to moan and groan under the press of the immeasurable crowds.

Each summer, holidaymakers hit the town like a tsunami and regardless of how many summers pass by, we never quite seem prepared for the immersion.  And, dare I say it, this year has been the worst [or best]—depending on one’s perspective—with Lorne’s population of 1,100 souls swelling to 20 or 30 times that number.

But, for the crowds that come and go, the towns along the GOR—Anglesea, Aireys, Lorne, and beyond to the Wye and Apollo Bay—all share one Achilles heel … the restricted road access of their geography!

Due to a combination of …

[1] the gargantuan population growth in western metropolitan suburbia … Tarneit, Truganina, Melton, Point Cook, Hoppers Crossing, and Werribee.

[2] the completion of the Geelong Ring Road in 2011.

[3] the relentless—and arguably reckless—promotion of the GOR despite a 50-year unaltered infrastructure no longer capable of coping with the tourism being sent its way.

[4] an exponential growth in post-retirement ‘mobile Australia’—the ‘have-van-will-travel’ set.

[5] the post-Covid return of international travel.

…  the road and its alluring towns now submerge under intolerable summer peaks that raise the hackles of their residents, exhaust their businesses, and hamper or fracture tenuous webs of supply.

On the one hand, the towns depend on this summer influx to inject the cash that sustains survival through the cold winter months.  On the other, the throngs that spend that money risk suffocating the golden geese they have been encouraged to visit—if, that is, they can hack spending hours in queues while boiling in their cars.

Then, having sweated, sweltered, and cursed at a near standstill for up to 3-4 hours at successive township bottlenecks, destination parking is practically impossible.  Finally, the battle to find a place to erect a space-hungry shade tent can elevate a day at the beach to another level of hell.  After studying the accompanying photo, one salient question surfaces: how can this be fun?

Not only has Lorne [and all the others] descended into a bun fight—bookings double-booked, supplies scarce, the supermarket carpark a bingle zone—but walking the footpath requires a crash course in hip and shoulder skills as tempers fray.

Perhaps it is this frustration and despair with a day that started so hopefully that prompts some people to leave behind knee-deep trash as rubbish removal systems are overwhelmed.  Wouldn’t it be nice if holiday-makers could help the teams who work the rubbish trucks—they try their hearts out and do a Herculean job—by taking their excess rubbish home?

Though local government councils now generally manage waste disposal well during normal times, angry posts appear on social media when the systems crumble at peak periods.  Meanwhile, our Lorne cockies continue to frustrate and create garbage mayhem.  More local angst [a personal observation] followed a decision by the SCS to reject a proven solution devised at the Lorne Men’s Shed in favour of a more expensive, less effective, and cockie-conquered lever mechanism.  Here was an opportunity missed!

Should blame apportion to the local council for repeatedly misjudging or failing to prepare for the onslaught?  Should we just blame the cockies?  Or is apportioning ‘blame’ the wrong approach?  Might there be better ways?

Easily said, but not so easily done [or afforded] … though there are some international waste-management solutions worth considering … see this Canadian YouTube video full of praise for a system used in the Netherlands: https://tinyurl.com/5hvucuh8 … and there are others.

Returning to access …  none of the narrow and winding roads along the coast are designed to manage the overwhelming traffic loads of summer.  Ingress/egress options are pitiful:

Anglesea [1] = Great Ocean Road (GOR).

Lorne [2] = GOR + Deans Marsh Road.

Wye River [1] = GOR.

Apollo Bay [2] = GOR + Forrest/Colac Rd.

But more than just gridlock inconvenience, how will safe evacuation work?

How will egress be managed in the event of an evacuation order? … an order that will inevitably come, one day.

Where is the orderly management plan to police it? … ‘places of last resort’ are one thing, knowing where they are and getting to them another entirely.

And … is there even a plan?  I rather fear not.

While neither easy to devise nor simple to implement, a known plan is needed, considering the mass panic that would likely ensue were Lorne to be ringed by fire on a Pier to Pub day [remember Ash Wednesday, 1983].  Perhaps Teddys to the south, Central Lorne to Deans Marsh, and North Lorne to the north if, that is, the Great Ocean Road and Deans Marsh Road are safe.

Many have supported [and I am one] a tourist gate on the Anglesea straight … remember, the GOR was tolled over its first two decades to recoup costs.   Reinstating an entry fee for tourist buses, day-trippers, and non-local visitors [NB: toll-exemptions or fee reductions for residents, tradies, deliveries, and others would need consideration] would certainly help with upkeep.  Alpine and other national parks manage it, so local GOR authorities could, too.  Further, park and ride facilities [December to March] could be considered for each town, though their local geography is unhelpful.

Beyond a revenue measure, an entry gate would permit simple, multi-language information suggestions of places to go, where to park, how to understand surf and rips, where/when not to enter the water [and what to wear], and other safety information.  A free rubbish bag could accompany a ‘take your rubbish home’ instruction.  Information about likely traffic snarls and wait times on peak days might even turn some people back.

All are serious, knotty, and almost insoluble problems.  There are no easy answers.  But a start must be made to address them … publicly, collaboratively, and openly.

Our new council might do well to devote far less time to fluffy DEI nonsense and turn its focus to RRM [i.e. Rubbish, Roads, and Maintenance].  Let’s hope it heeds this message.

 

A word from the chairman

Well, what a difference a week makes!  One Saturday we have 5,000+ swimmers participating in the Pier to Pub swim, a sea of cabanas on the beach and all our hospitality and accommodation venues packed to the rafters.  One week later, strong winds and wild seas meant there would have been no Pier to Pub swim due to safety reasons.  The plans of our visitors would have been thrown into disarray and the impact on our local businesses would have been devastating given they would have stocked up for a huge influx of visitors.  Someone smiled on Lorne!

Last weekend again demonstrated the power and unpredictability of nature and the respect we must show it.  Unfortunately there are still people who choose to ignore advice and warnings and think it is ok to have a quick dip even though the beach is closed.  The Surf Club reported that there were 22 rescues at Lorne beach last Saturday and the LSV helicopter had to be called in late in the day amid fears a swimmer had been swept out to sea.  Fortunately everyone went home safely. Lorne Surf Club president Heath Armstrong took to social media to plead with people to heed warnings and swim between the flags.  How grateful we are to have so many committed volunteer lifesavers (27 on duty on Saturday) to protect us and our visitors.

*****

Surf Coast Shire is asking for community input to help shape the council’s strategic priorities for the next 4 years. You can access the survey at surfcoast.vic.gov.au/OurFocusOurFuture until 3 February.

*****

Lorne loves to party and last week was no exception.  Having barely drawn breath after the Pier to Pub weekend, Lorne locals and visitors were out in numbers.  Firstly on Wednesday, the Aquatic Club hosted its regular January Hawaiian shirt night with a dazzling array of colour on show.  Then Thursday night, Mantra Resort presented the Forever 80’s music show while the Piano Bar Geelong took over the Lorne Theatre (now called Lorne Live) with duelling pianos.  On Friday night the Lorne glitterati came out to support a bumper fundraising dinner upstairs at the Lorne Hotel for the Lorne Football and Netball Club, once again expertly managed by Brian Taylor and Clive Goldsworthy.  On Saturday the focus shifted in two directions creating dilemmas for some people.  Do I go to the Pink Stumps day-night cricket game at Stribling Reserve, which incorporated a fundraiser for the McGrath Foundation for breast cancer, or do I go to the launch of the Lorne Sculpture Biennale at the picturesque Qdos, or should I go to both?  Decisions!!

And then we start again next weekend when we celebrate Australia Day (yes!).  The Aquatic Club will be holding its traditional festivities starting with a BBQ fundraiser for the Lorne CFA from 2pm on Sunday, followed by music from the amazing Blues Bus from 5pm.  For a little quiet time check out Tony Wolfenden’s amazing kite exhibition at Community Connect open until February 1.  For opening times see the LCC website.

How good is Lorne!!

Cheers

Lorne Ward Events Calendar

January

25 – Lorne Market, 9-3pm www.lornemarkets.com/

February

21 – 2025 Photographic Prize – Routine and Ritual Competition, closes 21 Feb 2025. Shortlist announced 10 Mar 25. Info: lornecommunityconnect.com.au