Mateship at the Shed.

It was both a privilege and an honour to listen to the venerable Doug Stirling speak at the Lorne Men’s Shed a few months ago on the occasion of his 103rd birthday. Thoughtful, wistful even, but without excess sentimentality, Doug spoke off the cuff and from the heart, with a wisdom that matched his years, on the value of mateship … of the lasting friendships he had been blessed to have but that so many men are denied in their lifetime. He spoke of the integral role that places like the Men’s Shed play in forging, securing, and empowering male-to-male friendships in a world where feminism has torn down the bastions of men-only spaces, one by one, till precious few remain.

As Doug reminisced, a wistful smile occasionally curled the corners of the mouth of this jolly and most positive of men as he spoke of Lorne friends now long gone. The true weight of Australian male-to-male interdependence built amid the horror and the ashes of two World Wars shone through his words like a warm and welcoming beacon … men need men, man time, and a place to be mates.

As one of the last [and Lorne’s very last] of our World War II veterans, Doug knows far better than any the value of mateship … to know someone has your back, stands at your side, stoops to pick you up when you fall or fail, and—yes—bows at your grave side and sheds a tear of memory for sharing lives well lived.

Traditional rivers of emotional control run deep in male upbringing, where boys are encouraged to ‘hang tough’, suppress their feelings, and ‘be a man’. Insidiously and progressively, male mentors have been stripped away. Family breakdowns often deny strong roles for a boy’s father, male teacher role models have been discouraged at the primary school level—a trend now even extending into secondary school—as predominantly female lobby groups raise the spectre of mostly fabricated sexual threat. As a result, teaching has been subtly dissuaded as a male career.

Mr Chips, the charismatic and deeply loved male teacher in James Hilton’s 1934 novel ‘Goodbye Mr Chips’, played by Robert Donat in the 1939 film version, reprised by Peter O’Toole in 1969, and subsequently one of the most beloved and retold stories in film, musical, stage, and TV series history … has long gone. In my view, our male children are the poorer for his going.

A recent tribute on YouTube echoed a powerful ‘Mr Chips moment’ when the boys at the Palmerston North Boys High School performed a traditional Māori haka for John Adams, a beloved retiring male teacher at their school. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It can be viewed at https://tinyurl.com/3brrnb94. Their haka powerfully affirmed the importance of male role models in our schools and showed the value of a mature male influence on the developing male psyche. Similarly, Doug’s gentle observations on the virtue of mateship at the Lorne Men’s Shed affirm the importance of healthy male relationships as the other end of life approaches.

Another compelling affirmation of the importance of male role models appears in the 1989 film ‘Dead Poets Society’. While its core message focuses on non-conformity, individuality, and the courage to ‘Carpe Diem’ [seize the day], the motives of the charismatic teacher John Keating [played by Robin Williams], who powerfully conveyed that message to his boys’ literature class, would sadly be seen as downright suspicious and subversive by today’s [arguably] skewed values.

Male role models are disappearing fast: single parent [most commonly a single mother], same-sex parents [most commonly female pairings], the all-too-commonly imposed limitations on father visiting rights, and the progressive replacement of males as leaders in the workforce … all have slowly eroded the influence of the male.

While men need men, the relentless push for ‘equality’ as one of the three aims of the DEI [diversity, equality, and inclusion] movement, which has so dominated the ‘enlightened thinking’ of Western societies over the last 50 years, has all but snuffed out the flames of masculinity. Masculinity has been diminished by the ever-attached leader word: ‘toxic’.

John Ridley [The Age: Opinion: 9.7.2022], when engaging with a then-heated debate over the male-only Atheneum Club admitting women to membership, wrote “… clubs should provide forums where men and women can share their different perspectives, build their understanding, mutual respect and inter-dependence and strengthen Australian society”— a broad sentiment with which I concur. However, I would have added the words ‘in general’ at the very start of his statement.

Ridley goes on to critique male-only clubs as “… refuges for some who would prefer to turn back the clock”—a statement with which I do not concur. It seems perfectly OK for women to have women-only spaces [for example, the stated aim of Melbourne’s Lyceum Club is “… to provide generations of women with a safe and comfortable place to meet, to forge and sustain friendships, and to engage in intellectual and cultural pursuits in an apolitical, non-sectarian, warm, and welcoming environment”, but he then argues that it is not OK to allow the boys to have their equivalents. The Atheneum Club, the Savage Club, and the Melbourne Club, all have recently come under sustained pressure to allow women members, but if segregated membership is good for geese, why not for ganders? Would he extend the same logic to the Lorne’s Men’s Shed? I hope not, but I fear so.

There are plenty of opportunities for men and women to mix at a social level throughout all phases of life … indeed, our own treasured Lorne Aquatic and Angling Club is a great example, and long may it remain so. But, the Men’s Shed? No, it must stay true to the implication of its name.

The message I took from Doug’s inspirational words at his 103rd at the Shed was that men need men. ‘Man time’ matters. Men need [and deserve] a place to rekindle mateships … a word Doug used, over and again … and a place to forge their later-life bonds in this increasingly women-focused and controlled world.

Though I shuddered as I altered Shakespeare’s wonderful peon to life—the Jaques monologue “All the world’s a stage” from As You Like It: Act II, Scene VII—in the context of this article, I have replaced the word ‘taste’ with ‘mates’ in Jaques’ seventh stage of life:

…. [that] last scene of all,
That ends this strange, eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion.
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans mates, sans everything.

A men’s Men’s Shed will help ensure ‘sans mates’ will not be so.

John Agar
Feature Writer

 

A word from the chairman

Hello

The demographic of Lorne is certainly changing this week as we welcome this year’s batch of schoolies.  It is great to see so many young people choosing to come to Lorne for some rest and recreation after an arduous year of study.  I am told we have about 200 in town, a reduction on previous years.  We thank them for choosing Lorne for their recovery and we are sorry that we are not putting on better weather.  We are also grateful for the Red Frogs who are in town to provide support for the schoolies should they over-indulge or suffer some other misfortune, and we thank the Op Shop for once again funding the Red Frogs presence in Lorne.

Speaking of weather, what is going on?  Here we are at the end of November and while our gardens are certainly letting us know that we are in Spring, the temperatures remain stubbornly low, and smoke still curls from many of our chimneys.  Perhaps Mother Nature is saving a special treat for us for the start of Summer.  Here’s hoping!

We are well and truly into the season of Annual General Meetings of our clubs and community organisations, and it is an appropriate time to thank the many people who volunteer their time to support the sporting, cultural and community activities of our town.

The Committee for Lorne (CfL) held its AGM last week and elected 10 committee members for another year.  The purpose of the CfL is to connect and unite a cross-section of Lorne leaders, organisations, community groups and residents to work together to ensure a thriving and prosperous future (environmentally, economically and socially) for Lorne.

The CfL has representatives from the hospital, the school, the Aquatic Club, the Country Club, the Bowls Club, the Surf Club, Friends of Lorne, the Lorne Op Shop and the Lorne Independent.

In recent years activities of the CfL have included:

• Investigating housing affordability options with the community, the Surf Coast Shire and other partners.
• Ongoing monitoring of the planned Pool/ Foreshore precinct redevelopment.
• Active involvement in the Point Grey precinct redevelopment.
• Bringing back the community-funded New Year’s Eve fireworks.
• Liaising and co-operating with Lorne P-12 College and Great Ocean Road Health.
• Active support to our ward councillors.

As you can see, the CfL has a wide cross-section of representation of the Lorne community and it is not a closed shop.  Anyone who has an interest in the future of our town and is willing to contribute is welcome to join. If you would like more information or wish to raise any issues of concern, please contact us at [email protected].

I would also like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to Sandy Chamberlin, CEO of Great Ocean Road Health (GORH), who is moving to a new role as CEO of Swan Hill District Health.  Sandy has provided outstanding leadership in her six years as CEO, guiding the Lorne and Apollo Bay hospitals and medical centres and she has been a significant contributor as a member of the Committee for Lorne.  We thank Sandy and wish her well for the future.

Cheers

John

Lorne Ward Events Calendar

December

5 Lorne FNC Annual General Meeting, 5pm at Stribling Reserve, Nomination and Proxy Forms – www.lornefnc.com.au

6-7 Christmas Arts & Craft market, featuring the work of local artists and craft makers. 10am-4pm at Lorne Community Connect

13 Take a photo with Santa, at Lorne Visitor Info Centre Kids Face Painting 10am-1pm

14 Deans Marsh Market,  at Deans Marsh Reserve 4.30pm-8.30pm

20 Carols Lorne, St Cuthberts Church – 6.30pm Sausage sizzle 7.30pm Carols